Food: Broiled Kabobs

We weren't really in the mood to do a lot of cooking or go out over the weekend, so we turned to a quick and easy yet tasty dinner---shish kabobs.  We use a recipe found here.  It's essentially a rosemary balsamic steak marinade and a citrus thyme marinade for the chicken (thyme being an easy substitute for tarragon).  The nice thing is that the marinades are extremely easy to make.  You can then cube your meat, pour the marinade over them, and stick them in the fridge overnight.

Kabobs are made to be grilled, but unfortunately it was storming outside most of the weekend.  As a result, I didn't think it would be wise to stand outside next to a large metal object, let alone one that was connected to a large flammable propane source.  So instead we turned to the forgotten, unsung hero of the kitchen---the broiler.  Broilers are essentially inverted grills, having the intense heat source radiating above the food.  Ours consists of a gas burner mounted on the top of our oven.  On the one hand, it's generally not as powerful as a grill, but on the other hand your oven is generally more insulated than a grill so it can retain more heat.  We placed the kabobs on a wire rack to let the juices drip down and broiled them.  We were pretty pleased with the results---we were still able to get some nice charring of the meat and caramelization of the cherry tomatoes.  The whole procedure took less than half an hour.  And it was delicious.

Chicken kabobs

 

Steak and mushroom kabobs

Cleaning

We spent the weekend thoroughly cleaning our house.  Part of the reason is that a sick cat is not really a clean cat and, as a result, does not make for a clean house.  Part of the reason is that the new cat Bumper has always been scared of our old lemon kitty Marquis, so we thought by removing his scent she would be more comfortable.  Part of it was to give us something to do, a project, anything to take our minds off of what had happened.

At least those were the reasons we told ourselves.  I wonder if deep down this was a coping mechanism and that the real reason was that we were trying to remove all traces of him.  We put away all of his things---his toys, his bed, his brush.  We cleaned and put away his litter box.  There is nothing left to remind us of him except for a few pictures on the wall.  If he never existed, then we wouldn't be hurting, right?  If we could clean our minds of him, it might scrub away the pain and help us move on.

The house does feel emptier now and more dark.  But clean and perhaps antiseptic.

Love is Watching Someone Die

August 20, 2010 was when our world changed.  We came home early from work to take our lemon kitty Marquis to the animal hospital to finally end his suffering.  He was too weak to stand and we couldn't ignore what was happening.  There was nothing left that we could do.  The car ride was a quiet one, neither of us saying too much while the cat was sleeping on the floor.  He used to love car rides and would sit and stare out the window, but this time he just lay there.

At the animal hospital, they brought us into a room and we stayed with him for a while, gently holding and petting him.  As weak as he was, he still rubbed his head against our hands and even started weakly purring.  He couldn't eat or stand, but the last thing he would do is reach for us.  The doctor came to take him away briefly to put in a catheter---as the doctor picked him up, Marquis' eyes became wide and he stared at us when we didn't follow.  It broke our hearts.  Why weren't we following him?  Why were we abandoning him?  After several minutes, the doctor returned with our cat's leg bandaged and with a syringe attached.  He asked us how long we needed, but after caressing the cat, we told him we were ready.

It was over so fast.  My wife was kneeling down and looking into his eyes as the doctor pushed the syringe in.  I was gently cradling his head in my hands.  In seconds, his head dropped and then lay still.  He didn't cry out or move---he just rested his head and stopped breathing.  The doctor checked him with a stethoscope and told him that he was gone.

My wife was crying the whole time.  I tried to stay strong, but when the doctor's voice started cracking as well, that's when I couldn't help myself.  I couldn't see through my tears and I started choking.  The doctor left us and we stayed with the body.  Our kitty lay still.  His eyes had never closed the entire time.  His tail was large and bushy.  Was he scared at the end?  Was he in pain?  Should we have stayed and comforted him longer?  Should we have done more?  Those are questions that will never be answered and doubts that we will always have.  My wife picked up his body and held him.  His body was like a rag doll and it was heartbreaking to feel how fast it had turned cold.

When we were ready, the doctor came to take the body away for individual cremation.  After about a week, his ashes will be returned to us.  It took us a while before we were ready to go back home.  The drive was a quiet one.

Marquis, our snowshoe kitty:  2000 - August 20, 2010.  Rest in peace.

Feeling Yourself Disintegrate

Our lemon kitty Marquis was diagnosed with chronic renal failure over a year ago and we've been able to treat him with daily subcutaneous fluid therapy to keep him hydrated.  He was doing very well for over a year until about 4 weeks ago, when we came back from a wedding to find that he had crashed.  We took him as soon as we could to the animal hospital and it was revealed that this kidney functions had deteriorated significantly.  They placed him on IV fluids for several days, but unfortunately that had no effect on his condition.  Rather than keep him alone in a cage, we brought him home, but sadly he has gotten worse over the last several weeks.

He has lost a lot of weight and is only 4 lbs after being over 10 lbs a month ago.  His ribcage shows through his fur and the rest of his body is sunken in.  He's not really not eating anything and we've tried dozens of different foods, including his old favorites.  We even tried giving him some rotisserie chicken, which he used to follow us around the world for.  His nose is brown, peeling, and crusty.  His fur is not growing back from where the doctor shaved him to put the IV in and the underlying skin is patchy and brown.  He's finding new places to hide and he doesn't have the energy to jump up to his old favorite places.  And he smells bad, particularly from his mouth, but even from the rest of his body as toxins have been accumulating without being cleared by the kidneys.

We've been trying to fight this with almost an entire pharmacy's worth of medicines.  We've increased his sub-q fluid intake to 120 mL a day.  We've also been giving him Prednisone daily, Cobalamin injections weekly, and lately Reglan and Pepcid to try and control any nausea and get him to eat.  At a checkup last week, his numbers haven't changed but his phosphorus levels are now high, so we've been treating him with aluminum hydroxide binder.  Nothing has really worked at all and his condition has just gotten worse.  We've tried assisted feeding (syringing some liquid food into his mouth) and it was a disaster---he was fighting and clawing and the syringe clogged and spurted food everywhere. 

The whole ordeal has been traumatizing to us and him---every morning and night, we have to fight him to medicate him and now he runs away from us to hide when he used to run to us.  He can barely move now and walks with a limp and spends most of his time lying down.  This is the first time that anyone or anything close to me has been dying.

How much is too much?  How do you know when is the end?  His quality of life has decreased so much that we're not sure if there's anything we can do to bring him back or if it would even be worth it.  It's been a really intense emotional roller coaster ride---one morning, he'll eat a bit of food and we'll get our hopes up but then the next day he's no longer eating and acting worse.  But this last week has been all downhill.  It's really hard to know when to end his suffering---sometimes his eyes are kind of unfocused, but most of the time I can see in his eyes that he's still there.  How long do you wait?

Tonight, we reached the point where he was too weak to make it to his litter box and he ended up lying in a pool of urine.  We placed him in his bed and he collapsed and lay on his side.  We just gently held him, but he still had enough energy to rub his face against our hands.  He barely had enough energy to stand, but he used his last reserve of energy to keep rubbing his face on us and weakly purr.  We stayed with him for a while until it looked like he was relaxed, but when we stood up, he lifted up his head and stared at us with wide eyes.  He didn't want us to leave him and kept looking at us until we came back and held him.  His eyes closed in peace.  We stayed with him until he fell asleep.

This is likely the end.  We just want him to be released from his suffering.  He's been fighting to stay for our sake, but I think he knows that we've made peace with it.  He doesn't have to fight any longer.

My wife likes to say that I'm usually very rational and don't show my emotions very often, sometimes resulting in people thinking that I'm cold or flat.  I've wondered this about myself as well.  From early on, I've learned to try and keep an even keel, sometimes to the extent that I wonder if I really am just not as emotional as other people.  Now I know that's not true.

Hello Kitty

A friend of mine from work watched over our kitty for several days last January when we were away.  He shot this short video with his iPhone that shows our cat at his healthiest.  Our cat had never met my friend before, but didn't hesitate to perform his favorite activities---twisting and turning, flopping over on his back waiting for a belly rub, and grabbing your hand with his paws to lick it.  I've never seen a cat that craved human contact so much before...he was our sweet, one of a kind little guy...  (Hosted on here on Flickr in case the embedded video doesn't work).

Food: Bobby Flay's Burger Palace

We probably watch too much Food Network or HGTV at our house for our own good.  While I do like Alton Brown, I'm probably a bigger fan of America's Test Kitchen than anything else on Food Network.  I particularly dislike Bobby Flay, who symbolizes the worst of Food Network---a flashy, rich, full-of-himself television chef loudmouth with little substance and a chili gimmick.

So when a friend of mine recommended Bobby Flay's Burger Palace (BBP), I was a little skeptical.  Still, there are a couple of locations relatively close by and we were craving burgers one night, so we gave it a shot last week after work.  It took us almost an hour in traffic to get there, so we were pretty hungry when we got there.  The decor looked like an upscale fast food restaurant and the place was pretty crowded.

Bobby's Burger Palace

There aren't that many different burgers on the menu, although the options do cover a wide range of flavors.  One of the gimmicks is getting your burger "crunchified", where they use potato chips as a burger topping.  It's mostly a marketing gimmick, but I wonder if it's also small tribute to those campus grease trucks that pile on french fries, onion rings, or other deep fried stuff into your sandwiches.  We ended up getting a Crunchburger (a classic cheeseburger crunchified), a Philadelphia Burger (provolone, grilled onions, and hot peppers), sweet potato fries, and a mango milkshake.  When we sat down, there was an assortment of special sauces beyond just ketchup and mustard.  Predictably, there was a Chipotle Ketchup option, but there was also a Jalapeno hot sauce and a mysterious, gritty Burger Sauce.

I have to admit, the food was pretty good---as much as I dislike him, he does serve a pretty good burger.  The burgers were more of a "restaurant" hamburger rather than a "fast food" burger---a nice thick hamburger.  The meat was nice and juicy and by default they cook the patties to a nice medium pink color in the middle.  The potato chips really didn't add anything but make the burger a little more dry, so I'll probably pass on them next time.  I'm a big fan of sweet potato fries and they came with a nice honey mustard sauce.  The mango milkshake was also good---not too thick and not too light and a pretty unique flavor.

Overall, it's worth trying, but probably not worth driving an hour out of your way.  Still, it's relatively cheap for a good burger, although I'm a little disappointed in the lack of hamburger options.  For example, much closer to us is a 25 Burgers that has 25 different burger styles, including some of our favorites---there's one with a pineapple slice and teriyaki sauce and there's another with a fried egg (mmm....fried egg on burger...)  On the other hand, 25 Burgers is definitely on the fast food burger side, so BBP's burgers are definitely a step up in terms of quality. 

Special sauces

Sweet potato fries and mango milkshake

Crunchburger

Philadelphia burger

 Mmm...nice and rare on the inside...

More on Our Lemon Kitty

As I mentioned earlier, I never really thought of myself as a cat person.  Most of the people at work tend to be dog people too.  I guess I can agree with them with respect to most cats---the stereotypical cat kind of keeps to themselves, but Snowshoes are different.  When we were looking for cats, we definitely met some cats who displayed stereotypical cat behavior.  They acted pretty standoff-ish, didn't like to be held or touched for very long, or even hissed at us when they got mad.  Our lemon kitty Marquis, however, has never made an aggressive move towards us.  He's always been very sweet and loving.  We joked that he was raised by dogs but had the advantage of knowing how to use a litter box. 

He would do things that are pretty unusual for cats.  We didn't let him sleep with us since my wife has some slight cat allergies, but he would come up and wait patiently by the bedroom door each morning to welcome us.  He used to come down to the door and greet us when we came home from work every day.  His favorite activity was running up to us and then flopping over for a belly rub and then twist and turn.  He was a licker---he would grab our hands to rub his face and lick it all over.  He could do this for hours if you let him.  He was a pretty lazy cat and didn't even show any interest in laser pointers or other cat toys.  He would just sit on or next to us the rest of the night, occasionally grabbing our hands for a belly rub.

He was sweet tempered enough that he would sit quietly when we trimmed his claws (he had six toes on each foot).  We could even wash him in the shower and he wouldn't complain.  If he got sad or upset, he wouldn't strike out---instead, he would go and sit in the corner until we came to pet him.  Once he got diagnosed with chronic renal failure over a year ago, we were able to subcutaneously inject him with 50 mL of saline daily to keep him hydrated and he didn't complain.  I don't know if we would be able to do that with most cats.

He's so sick and weak now that he barely has energy to move.  He can only walk with a slight limp to the litter box.  But whenever he sees us for the first time in the morning or when we come home from work, he still has enough energy to grab our hands and rub his face over them.  Now he can only last for a couple of minutes, but you can tell that's what he's been saving his energy for.  It's what he lives for---even in the end, all he wants is to be with us.

As weak as he is now, he still has enough energy to grab our hands for a good rub.